i liked quiet places. i liked to sit amongst sand dunes, or deep in the forest. Far far away from the rest of the world. don’t get me wrong, I loved parties and i loved all the beautiful women and fanciful evenings that they entailed. i loved crowded squares and luxurious parks. but when i sat in that abandoned light house, way at the tippity top, it brought it all back. the good feelings, and the bad. it brought it all back. the hurt feelings, the thoughts so harsh i could just give up and die right there. and then there were the thoughts of you. the first time we met. the first time i had you alone. that time you got me in the car to pick up a pizza in cambridge and we ended up driving all the way to the grand canyon. you had me wrapped around your finger, and you abused the hell out of it. and then i knew it. i knew i wanted you back. but you hurt me too badly to go after it again. i couldn’t do it to myself. so i now i go on. but, with the intention of giving myself to you fully if we are to ever encounter such circumstances again. i loved you, i love you, and i will continue to love you.